The scene: Sometime in 2005. I am sitting at my desk, late at night, working on my computer to finish a business plan for school.
*Ring! Ring!* I answer the phone.
Me: "Hello?"
Rick: "Hey Warren."
Me: "Hey Rick. What's up?"
Rick: "I think I'm BI."
A long pause...
Me: "Why on earth would you think you are BI? What happened? What did you do?"
Rick: "Well, I met a couple in a Yahoo group. I went over to their place and, well..."
Me: "Did the husband suck your dick?"
Rick: "Yeah."
Me: "Did you suck his dick?"
Rick: "Yeah."
Me: "Did he cum in your mouth?"
Rick: "No. I told him that I wanted to see him shoot his load."
Me: "Rick, why after over 50 years, you all of a sudden decide to turn gay?"
Rick: "I'm not gay, I'm BI! And well, the guy seduced me."
Another long pause...
Me: "Rick, you aren't BI. You are gay. You sucking a guys dick and enjoying it is gay. There really isn't a grey area here. You enjoy sucking a guys dick, you enjoy watching him shoot his load on you, you are gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that."
Rick: "Oh, uh, I was just kidding... That really didn't happen... I gotta go..."
Me: "OK, bye."
This guy must have taken lying lessons from my father, Ralph Edward Lester, the drunken DUI felon. Like ol' Ralphie, he couldn't lie his way out of a wet paper bag.
It would be like... "Hey Warren! I just won $100!"
"Great! You owe me $90!"
"Oh, uh, I didn't really win. I was just kidding!"
Of course, at that moment, I am thinking that all of the times that I drove up to Munger to hang out with him for a weekend, he was secretly wanting to perform some gay act with me. I could no longer drive up to his flea infested, bedbug infested shack, thinking that we will just hang out and have a good time, without thinking that he wants to suck my dick.
And after I tell my wife what just happened, I had to assure her that I was not driving up north to have, nor have I ever had, a gay episode with my "friend".
I was really crushed. I had been friends with this guy for over 20 years. I was there for him when he needed help heating his house and not freezing in the winter. I was there, buying him food and general things needed around the house like soap, shampoo, dishwashing soap, toothpaste, a toothbrush, etc... Every time I went up to visit him I would take him out to eat and buy some warm clothes for him.
He broke his camera that he was using for his job as a photographer, so while he was supposed to be getting his repaired, I loaned him my entire camera setup. Camera, lenses, filters (in their own cases), camera bag, tripod, etc... So, in less than a year, he loses his job, so I went up to get my camera equipment back. What did he give me? The camera didn't work anymore. The shutter was broken. You know the black plastic covering around a 35mm camera that kind of looks like leather? It was completely ripped off. Not one piece left on my camera. My tripod was broken and he had it taped together with duct tape. I asked where the 3 filters were. He gave them to me without the cases, and he didn't have my camera bag. I asked if he planned on paying to get it fixed. He just said, "Hey, it just wore out!"
There is no explanation available that can justify him destroying my camera. It looked like he dragged it behind his truck (which, by the way, after he was fired from his job, he got drunk and wrapped it around a tree). I had the camera since 1985. I had used it for over 20 years. I had taken good care or it and handled it with care, something that Rick doesn't seem to understand.
So what can I possibly do? He has no job, doesn't even seem to care, he is drunk all of the time, and he enjoys sucking penises.
He gave me a few trinkets here and there: An old radio that had wood laminate peeling off and missing on most of it that didn't even work. I fixed it up as much as I could and sold it for $40 at a garage sale. He gave me some wooden fish that he had carved. 2 or 3 GI-Joe dolls, and a couple of rusty old Tonka toy trucks.
So, after about 5 years or so, he finally gets a job, so I send him an e-mail, outlining the things that I had bought for him (these were things that he said, "Hey, buy this for me and if I get another job, I will pay you back.") along with the camera and camera equipment that he destroyed. I said, "Now that you have a job, you can start paying me back what you owe me."
So what does this prick say to me?
"Hey man, what about that $300 antique radio that I gave you that you SOLD? How about those $50 GI-Joe's that I gave you? Geez..."
I told him that he gave me those things. I can do whatever I want with a gift! I wasn't asking him to pay me back the thousands of dollars worth of things that I bought for him as a gift. I don't care what he does with the things that I gave him. I just wanted what he said he would pay me back and for him to take responsibility for what he did to my camera.
He can do what he wants with what I give him. I give him a Macintosh computer, he destroys the modem and the zip drive, so I get those for him as a gift. He destroys the keyboard, TWICE, but I had a couple extra ones that I gave him. I buy him an oil electric heater. It has wheels so he can move it easily around his house. The last time I was up there, the wheels were broken off and he had a piece of wood propping it up.
He says, "Hey, buy me this DVD/VCR player and I will pay you back!" What happens? He leaves the remote on his stove and it melts. So guess who has to buy him another one? That's right, ME. That remote alone was over $35.
My mother was moving and wanted to get rid of her love-seat that folded out as a bed. She had had it for maybe 5-7 years. Never had a problem with it. She gave it to him to have. In less than a year, it was sitting outside behind his house. I asked him what happened to it. Guess what he told me? "It wore out!" She also gave him some torchire lamps, and a slide projector.
He can destroy what is given to him as a gift, but if someone loans you something? You take good care of it and if something happens to it because you destroyed it because you are so careless, you fix it!
So, I told him that it's nice to see that he put a price on our friendship. He said that I was the one saying that he owed me money, but I didn't say, "You pay me this back or else our friendship is over!"
HE was the one who said that he isn't going to pay me and that he never wants to hear from me again.
He really has a lot of nerve after all that I had done for him, sometimes just to help him survive!
It isn't the money. I have plenty. It is the principle of the thing. But, he has been poor and with nothing for so long, he has turned into a hoarder and will NOT give anyone any money that he owes them.
So, if you think that you know who this is (because I am not mentioning any last names), make sure that you don't loan him anything that you aren't prepared to replace or lose, because it doesn't matter what it is, it will just "wear out".
Oh, and he enjoys gay oral sex, so watch it. ;)
Oh, and he enjoys gay oral sex, so watch it. ;)
