Why did you cheat on mom, Ralph Lester?

So, the last time I was at my father's shit-hole of a house in Meadowlands, MN, he shows me a polaroid picture of a naked black woman lying on a bed. He says, "Here's my new girlfriend!" I asked him how he got it, and he tells me, "Well, uh, I got a phone call from a woman asking me if I was related to so and so, and I wasn't, so I asked her if we could meet, blah, blah, blah..." Then he tell me that he showed it to my nephew (who was 15 at the time), and that my nephew said, "Grandpa, you think that you are god's gift to black women." To which my father says, "No, I am god's gift to ALL women!"


So, he tells me that she was a stripper at Tuna's, a place in Eveleth, MN. He met her there, took her to a hotel room, and fucked her.


I said, "Wow. You had sex with a hooker." He got all offended and said, "She is an exotic dancer!" Look, any woman, black or white, who is a stripper, in her 20's, who will have sex with someone that she just met who happens to be over 60 years old, is a hooker. A prostitute. A whore.


I asked him if he paid her anything. When he starts lying, he starts saying a lot of um's and uh's and his face starts turning red. So he says, "Well, um, uh, I paid for the hotel room and took her out to breakfast the next day."


I said, "This is about the dumbest thing that you have ever done." Then he says, "Well, you have naked pictures of women on your computer!" (He was implying that I have naked pictures of women that I have had sex with on my computer.) I said, "What? No I don't." He says, "Yes you do!" 


Seriously, I don't even think that this idiot knows what a computer looks like. I mean, he said to me one time, "You and your sister should buy me a laptop computer! Then I can just plug it in anywhere and get on the net!" Newsflash to Ralphie boy: You can't just plug in a computer anywhere and automatically get on the internet. Besides, the only time he bought me anything was if he got it at a garage sale for $5 or less. He got me a "table-saw" one time, so I drove up to get it. It was a bunch of 2"x4" pieces of wood, nailed together, with a makeshift electric motor hooked up to a rusty blade. It was about 2 feet long and 1 foot wide. An electrical disaster waiting to happen. PLUS, it was falling apart! I guess if I can find a laptop computer at a garage sale for $5 that may or may not work, sure, I would have gotten him one (like that would have EVER happened).


One Christmas, I open his "gift" to me, and it was a jean jacket with a bunch of patches sewed onto it. You would think that it may be kind of cool, except that it was my jacket when I was in elementary school! I looked over it and found an old Star Wars pin and said that it may be worth some money. He said that he should get it because he had it at his place for so long. JHC! He will steal and stab you in the back just to get a nickel.


Greedy, greedy, greedy. It runs in the family. His sister, my sister, him... All greedy. 


I don't know why this ignorant piece of shit thinks that he knows anything about my life or what I do. It is kind of like people that attend Assembly of God churches. They believe that if they just say something, that it is 100% true. For example, lets say a girl who is 16 years old meets a 21 year old and is engaged to marry him after knowing him for only 2 weeks, all she has to say is, "IT'S GOD'S WILL! IT'S GOD'S WILL!" and her parents, her bible thumping brainwashed parents, say, "Yup! It must be God's will, because our daughter says so!"


But that is another story. Stay tuned...


Back to my "father"...


I remember when his mother was still alive, she said to him, "You would sleep with a snake if it was female!"


I say, all he needs is a hole and a heartbeat, and the heartbeat is optional.


So, I asked him why he had to have sex with all of those women when he was married to my mother. He said, "I didn't have sex with ALL of those women! I have only had sex with 7 women my entire life!"


Keep in mind that he just fucked a hooker.


So I asked him to name them all. That shouldn't be too tough, right? I mean, even I can remember 7 names considering that I had a massive brain injury. So he names them off. I said, "How about that old bag that you fucked back when I was 19?" I owed some money for a car and he went and got a loan for $1000 for me to pay it off. He then said, "I deserve a reward!" He went to a bar and got shit-faced, and then went to this old hag's house and told me to wait in the car. I waited for about an hour and then poked my head in the house and said, "Hey dad! Remember that we have to help your girlfriend move today!" He comes out, says, "Get in the fucking car!" and drives off. We are about 5 miles from his shit-hole house when he stops the car and starts yelling, "You fucker! You just said that to be mean and malicious!" Or should I say, "You jusht shaid dat tuh be meeeaannn and mulishush!" He winds up to punch me, I put up my arm, he says, "Put your fucking arm down!" I said no, so he gets out, goes to my side of the car, opens the door and yanks me out. I start running and he chases me down, knocks me down, kicks me in the ribs a couple of times, and gets in his car and takes off. I had to walk 5 miles in the rain to get back to his dump.


Back to the point... He says that he has had sex with only 7 women his entire life. I said, "How about that old bag when I was 19?" He then says, "OK, 8!"


So I said, "OK, why did you cheat on mom?" You know what he says? "Because of you kids!"


I got back home and e-mailed my sister, telling her that he had sex with a hooker, took a picture of her and showed it to her son who was only 15 years old at the time. She e-mails me back and says, "You are making that up! You are just spreading lies!"


What an ignorant bitch.


You see, people don't like me now because after I was in a car accident and suffered a massive brain injury, I don't ignore shit and live in a delusional fantasy land. I tell it like it is, and people don't want to hear the truth. My sister and her son think my "father" is a god. They don't want to learn that not only is he a drunken, violent felon, but he is also a narcissistic sociopath.


They just know that because I am out of the picture, they just have to be nice to him, and they will inherit his, (TA-DA) 300 ACRE, WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT FARM IN MEADOWLANDS, MN THAT NOBODY WANTS TO BUY!


I can't even begin to count the number of times where my "father" has said, "After all I have done for you kids! I am going to spend everything and leave you NOTHING!" (what has he ever done?)


So, to everyone, just live in your delusional fantasy-land where all you have to do is ignore a problem and it will just disappear, and you can be just like my father! My white-trash, drunken, violent, narcissistic, sociopath felon father!


Why would anyone want to be?


I am sure that Ralph Lester thinks that I will enjoy pissing on his grave when he dies, but I hate standing in line.